Trust & Obey

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." -Psalm 23

I learned the above Psalm in the persistent, abiding wording of the King James Bible, from my grandmother. She used to have me read it with her every night before bed. The psalm talks about how God is our refuge and our leader, and with Him we don't want or doubt, or even fear. About how we commit to dwell in His house forever. And when I've looked at my grandmother, that is exactly what I have seen. She describes herself in her yearbook page as having a "studious air" about herself, and I can not think of any better way to describe her.
In the photo's posted, Gram went to high school with Bill Winfrey. Bill is a brother to Jack Winfrey, who has basically became like a father to me. I don't know how much interaction they had as teens, but it's interesting to see how God has had a hand in this whole situation. He leads me, just like the Psalm says. Grandma couldn't have possibly known that Jack & Donna would become a huge part of my life, but that's how God works. And it's been interesting to hear Jack talk about Uncle Jim (Grandma's brother), "Now Jim was a big fella (and he was!!) and I always asked him why he didn't play football and he would always say that he didn't want to hurt anyone!" "He may have been a big fella, but he sure did care about others!"

Even in as I reflect on the many times my husband and I could have met growing up, but never did...but we ended up together. One of Kyle's friends was dating a friend of a friend of mine, and went to our proms. Another of Kyle's friends had a grandmother who was friends with my mom, and yet two more friends went to the church that I went to youth group at...and still I never met Kyle until Vennard.

As I reflect on this verse I pray that my heart continues to be softened by it and that I am continually amazed by God's work. That I learn to trust God more and obey His every word.

Florence Kay

It's a little after one in the morning and I've spent the last few hours messing with my blog design. And as I have been, I have been thinking about a pretty important person in my life. And I've decided I'd like to introduce you to her. She's my Aunt Kay. And over the years she hasn't necessarily gotten the respect or love she has deserved. But thankfully God has softened my heart so that I can see just how beautiful of a human being she is. She is the daughter of Harold Hubbs and Gladys Carriker. She spent many years in the Navy, traveling everywhere. Just a few short years ago she finally retired from the Navy Reserves. While in the Navy, she went to China and bought a China set-which was the beautiful wedding gift that she gave Kyle and I. Growing up, she struggled with homosexuality, but one day gave her heart to Christ and I am proud to say that Christ is in the for-front of her life. She is very much involved with youth for Christ and many other organizations. She builds relationships with almost everyone she's in contact with. She is one of those people who you always want to be around. Her amazing character mixes with her infectious personality and laughter and draws you in. She loves with everything that she is. She sacrifices a lot and would give you the shirt off her back.She's humble and fun to be around. She has taught me what it means to be a woman of Christ, especially when no one is looking. She has shown me what integrity means. In my lifetime, she has been an amazing owner to two wonderful dogs, Kringle & Remington. In the most recent years she has become one of my better friends and I'm better for knowing her. Aunt Kay, I love you, miss you and am thankful you are in my life.

Enough

Sunday night we taught the youth about being a steward with everything that God has given you, but mainly we talked about money. We discussed in length about the heart in which you do things in, and whether or not it was true offering for God. So as I write this, I feel I need to check myself and my heart. Ephesians tells us to only use words that are used to uplift those around us. Luke tells us that if we can't be trusted with things here on earth, who will trust us with greater things? Lord guide my thoughts, heart, words and actions.
I really have a hard time loving people who gossip, make fun of others, use children as a go between, people who purposely try to get under others skin, and people who don't have the gall to say things to your face. And I really have a hard time loving those who you try so hard for and they barely notice. It seems to be a theme in my life lately. But God has been speaking to my heart and has been working on me. I've dealt with anger a lot in the last two years, and this is something I don't want taking over my life. With some people, I feel like they think I'm not enough friend, family, "doer" whatever the role may be. And it's hurt, a lot. But then I look at the ones who I am "enough" for and am thankful that I can fulfill a need in their life, I'm needed to them. I mean something to them. That gives me hope that I can have heart for those who hurt me. That I can pray for them and wish the best for them. Lord continue to guide me, in heart, mind, and words. Help me to be a better steward of my heart.

Oh The Places You'll Go!

So I went into Hobby Lobby the other day, and normally it's a good experience for me. I'm like a kid in a candy store whenever I go in there. But the other day I had just this overwhelming feeling of breaking down. All I could think about was the situation I was in with my family and had this horrible thought that I have no one to cook for. To have people around to cook for and entertain, that is a great sense of accomplishment for me. Dumb, I know. But as I walked around I found the Christmas ornaments and saw this one of a monster truck, The Grave Digger. Just what you want you want decorating your tree right? I wouldn't have stopped except when we were kids, Mom took us to a few Monster Truck races and The Grave Digger was my brothers favorite car for a VERY long time. And I started crying. Having your family turn away from Christ and away from you feels like death...and it sucks. So periodically I've tried to share with Kyle some of the stuff that were good times with my family, and someday I'll get to take him to those places. I'd like to share some of that with you.
In Longview Washington, they have this restaurant called Stuffy's, and Stuffy's makes this amazing cinnamon roll(which they have so eloquently named the "Itty Bitty Cinnamon Roll) that is as big as the plate and stands quite a bit high off the plate. My mom, her boyfriend at the time and my brother and sister ordered one to share and couldn't eat half of it! It's pretty amazing. Not to mention that when you walk into the restaurant, it's like the 50's era just stopped and got shoved into this one building. My mom has this photo of her and her dog when she was a kid, and in the background Mt. Saint Helen's is erupting in the background, which is something I've always thought is pretty cool. Especially when I was able to go to Kelso Washington to the center they have there and buy a pen filled with that same ash that was falling with that photo was taken. In Longview they have this tiny bridge going across one of the streets and it's known as the "Squirrel Bridge" and that's literally what's it for. And if you kill a squirrel anywhere near there, you get fined.
Growing up we didn't have money, and the fact that I have been able to go places, I think it to be a miracle. The fact that I was able to Texas and see the "ocean" is pretty cool...and I got to share it with Kyle. I know for alot of people, being able to go places isn't that big of deal. But for me, to have been able to afford it in the past and to now be able to share future trips with the love of my life is pretty amazing.

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